Sunday, August 07, 2005
In His Mind
A void which has not been filled since the last attempt.
Lethargy and restlessness are just two of its many contradictory symptoms. I've no idea why I could be feeling this way when I'm eating well, feeling fit as a fiddle and having no inter-personal problems at all. Is this some sort of mental illness or just a transient state of mood change that's caused by a prolonged period of boredom and loneliness?
Although I've activities to which I can engage myself in, I seldom feel any sense of satisfaction or fulfillment at the end. Sometimes I do not even want to do anything because it seems almost pointless. Does it mean that I'm mentally askewed?
I yearn for that familiarity and to bath in it's warmth again; the adrenalin rush through my entire body and psyche. I want to be lost for words once again, to just indulge simply in it's splendor and serenity. It'll be terrific to once again feel euphoria wrapped around my heart and I can feel palpitations of felicity every other second.
But inhibitions and past setbacks prove to be immense mental challenges. It's web of complexity remains to be the biggest challenge, entangling the inexperienced and mentally weak. Nonetheless many have tried numerous times and have successfully escaped the web's ruthless pitfalls, eventually.
Should I make another attempt? Or allow fate to decide and coincidence to befall upon me? In the end it's still a matter of the mind's willingness to being pursuit or just maintain the status quo, as it has always been.
"Come live in my heart, and pay no rent." - Samuel Lover
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