Sunday, October 23, 2005
What A Difference A Trip Made
As I weaved through the stretch of road through Singapore's main tourist attraction belt, I noticed something. There were many faces that emanated energy, life and innocence.
Little did I wonder that I would be in the state that I am in today - adulthood. Having gotten the "golden key" to freedom - which is utter nonsense, if my life is anything to go by - I feel that I've aged years beyond my current age (not literally... I think). No longer can I feel that I'm a part of the crowd strolling through Orchard Road tirelessly and aimlessly. Times have changed. Instead, I'm one of those in smart casual attires, seated in cafes or restaurants, looking out at people walking pass. I can no more feel excited and energized about walking from Lido to Orchard Cineleisure. It's become a drudgery.
Even going into Orchard Cineleisure or The Heerens can be mentally depressing and tiring. Most of the patrons are youth barely into their late teens. Interestingly, most of the customers at cafes and restaurants in these places are filled people like me or older - early twenties to mid-thirties; sipping their cups of beverages worthy of it's price (I hope).
Come to think of it, wasn't I one of those hip and (not-so) trendy youngsters walking around, in and out of shopping malls with unwaveringly high energy levels before? A trip to town today probably takes more energy out of me just by merely walking from one mall to the next.
Without a doubt it's age that's causing all of these changes in a way or another. I hate growing old since 16 and every time my birthday comes I loathe it. It's ironic actually. I love birthday gifts but I hate growing up. I think everyone share this sentiment. The biggest irony I think, should probably be the 21st birthday. Why? First, I'm only 21, which makes my views within this context indefinitely biased. Second, I think that when people say you get the "key" to freedom, it probably means you can watch R21 movies and allowed to vote, period. What is life?
Sometimes we get carried away by our daily activities that we forget that we're slowly approaching our lives' deadline. No one knows for sure when we will die. Have we wondered when will our time come? Perhaps when the flower pot lands on your unlucky head, or you get run down by a lorry? What about bird flu?
I'm pretty much confused about what this world is about. Do humans live to die? And what about when we die? Who will we become or where will we go to? Is there another world? If so, is there enough space for the new souls to squeeze into? If we are made to reincarnate - that which I term as recycling of organism - in this world once again, then when will it be? Does our souls get (if there really is) "transferred" immediately into the to-be-newborn or is there a sort of quarantine?
If "till death do us part" holds, then wouldn't married couples be terribly upset that they're made to part after they die? (That's if there are such things as souls and souls can recognize each other. Come to think of it, scientifically, souls can't think because they've no brains. How to recognize each other?)
What are the mechanisms that operates this world?
Maybe babies hold some pieces of the puzzle encompassing those answers. Because of the fact that they cannot speak at birth and for the subsequent first few years of life that follow, and assuming that souls are real and are truly "transferable", then babies are probably the people "brought to life again" (or reincarnate - whatever) from scratch! It just works out that babies cannot talk and their memories are utterly vague. So, their grasp of memories of their past lives becomes evanescent. Only trace amounts of their previous lives' memories appear as dej vu scenarios or in dreams.
Anyhow, I'm only 21 for goodness. It's not as though I'm hitting 40 and I'm still single. Or that my social life is crumbling into fragments. I'm just like any average student bogged down by assignments and projects. I enjoy occasional mood swings and depressive thoughts. Stalking up on Dettol, Panadol, rat poison and washing detergent seems absolutely necessary nowadays...
Before I become too paranoid, I think I should revert back to the current state of matters.
Is there magic in this world?
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